December had been a busy month, full of fun activities, family visits, vacation...so much to be thankful for. Nothing could prepare me for the call I received at 9:15am on the morning of December 24. My life, my heart, my future...forever changed.
I am writing this to help me remember...how God gave us just what we needed to get through that awful week. He gave us an amazing support system of friends, family and strangers to show us just how much he loves us. This won't be easy to read or for me to write, but I think it is part of the healing.
Richard and I had stayed up late the night before getting things ready for Christmas, so we decided not to set an alarm for the next morning. My cell phone rang at 9:15am and I saw it was mom. I turned it off quickly as I was a little disoriented and didn't realize what time it was. I figured I would call her back in a few minutes once I had woken up. But then...the home phone rang. I jumped up and got it. It was mom. Immediately I could tell something was wrong and she was crying. I kept repeating, "What's wrong? Mom, what's wrong?". I will never forget her words. "Jenny, I don't know how to tell you this...but your dad is in Heaven with Memaw and Papa."
I couldn't comprehend what she was saying. I just started saying, NO! NO! Thank goodness Richard was in the room with me. He immediately took the phone and talked to mom for a minute before Cindy Daily got on the phone.
That's the day my heart broke.
My dad, the man who could do anything, fix anything, solve any problem I had, comfort any hurt...was now gone.
Telling the kids was heartbreaking. Molly woke up not long after and we took her upstairs to wake Matthew and tell them together. How do you tell two kids that adored their Papa Doc he's not going to be around for so many of the things we had hoped he would be a part of? How do you smile when trying to reassure them he is in a better place? How do you tell these innocent children that all those presents under the tree and a visit from Santa is just going to have to wait because the grief is already so heavy mom can barely breathe?
Thank goodness for friends. My best friend, Cristy, arrived as we were telling the kids and whisked them away for donuts and playtime with her kids while we tried to pack, make phone calls, and go through pictures, knowing we would want pictures shown at dad's memorial.
Dad's memorial.
That doesn't even seem real.
We just did this in February and June for our beloved Memaw and Papa. My mind was racing with thoughts...What will mom do? How can she handle losing three of the most important people in her life so close together?
The rest of our time at the house was spent packing and seemed like a blur of tears and confusion. We were on the road by afternoon and the tears just fell the whole way home. I know there were angels with us that day. I don't remember anyone in the car saying much the whole way to Arkansas. Just silence and tears. When we pulled up the driveway, all I could think about was how nothing would ever be the same again. Dad should be out there greeting us with mom. Instead, I entered the house to family doing their best to comfort mom and Kara. As I hugged them I couldn't believe that the original four were now just three...dad's three girls.
Back tracking just a bit to the evening before....
Mom said dad was tired from the day, but nothing out of the ordinary. That man wakes up at 4:15a.m. to go to the gym and start his day...of course he is tired! He dozed a little during the news and then mom and dad did their "Jesus Calling" devotional they did every night. After a goodnight kiss and talking about the exciting few days that lie ahead, dad went downstairs for the night. When mom woke the next morning she saw his clothes were still sitting out for the gym. That was definitely not normal for dad to still be sleeping. She found him in bed, looking so peaceful. The covers weren't even ruffled. It was as if he just rolled over to go to sleep and woke up in the arms of Jesus. There was no sign of discomfort or struggle. It is comforting to know he went to bed with happy thoughts of the grandkids arriving to celebrate Christmas...oh what a fun time it was going to be!
Philip and Cindy were the first to arrive and stayed with mom until the paramedics left and family had arrived. I am so thankful they were there for her on that awful morning. Dad and Philip had such a special friendship. He and Cindy have been an answer to prayer for mom. What precious friends they are. It still breaks my heart imagining how mom felt as she realized everything had forever changed. I am so thankful that she and dad knew exactly how they felt about each other...no regrets.
The following few days seem like a blur. So many precious friends came to visit and kept us well-fed and smiling. Many told us stories we hadn't ever heard about dad. It truly is amazing the number of lives he touched. Every day that week many of our extended family were at the house...sitting, visiting, laughing, crying. What a blessing that our family is so close. Memaw and Papa would be so proud to see how we have all pulled together to support Nana...it has been amazing. Hotel accommodations were donated for family, meals were sent, friends drove hours to give their love and support, Melissa and Cindy had bags filled with anything we could possibly need on the day of the memorial...definitely a humbling and overwhelming experience.
We celebrated Dad's life on Monday, December 28, at First Baptist Church in Arkadelphia. Sometime over the past year, Dad had seen Brother Lynn Worthen and had told him he wanted him to preach at his funeral when the time came. Brother Lynn kept his promise and led a beautiful service honoring dad, with Dr. Lee McClone officiating. Hal Bass also spoke and did a wonderful job telling about dad's years of service at Ouachita and what an impact he had on the students, faculty and community. Somehow, Kara and I found the strength to speak on behalf of our family. As hard as it was, we wanted to honor dad and knew he would love having his girls up there talking about him. After all, he spent all those years telling stories about us at OBU...now we could tell a few about him!
Here are the notes we spoke from...
"Our family wants to thank everyone for your support, prayers, and stories. The stories have been a bright spot and comfort during these difficult days. During this really hard time we find comfort in knowing that our dad went to sleep excited about Christmas and time with his grandkids and family. We want you to know he passed peacefully and woke up in the arms of Jesus and for that we are thankful.
Back tracking just a bit to the evening before....
Mom said dad was tired from the day, but nothing out of the ordinary. That man wakes up at 4:15a.m. to go to the gym and start his day...of course he is tired! He dozed a little during the news and then mom and dad did their "Jesus Calling" devotional they did every night. After a goodnight kiss and talking about the exciting few days that lie ahead, dad went downstairs for the night. When mom woke the next morning she saw his clothes were still sitting out for the gym. That was definitely not normal for dad to still be sleeping. She found him in bed, looking so peaceful. The covers weren't even ruffled. It was as if he just rolled over to go to sleep and woke up in the arms of Jesus. There was no sign of discomfort or struggle. It is comforting to know he went to bed with happy thoughts of the grandkids arriving to celebrate Christmas...oh what a fun time it was going to be!
Philip and Cindy were the first to arrive and stayed with mom until the paramedics left and family had arrived. I am so thankful they were there for her on that awful morning. Dad and Philip had such a special friendship. He and Cindy have been an answer to prayer for mom. What precious friends they are. It still breaks my heart imagining how mom felt as she realized everything had forever changed. I am so thankful that she and dad knew exactly how they felt about each other...no regrets.
The following few days seem like a blur. So many precious friends came to visit and kept us well-fed and smiling. Many told us stories we hadn't ever heard about dad. It truly is amazing the number of lives he touched. Every day that week many of our extended family were at the house...sitting, visiting, laughing, crying. What a blessing that our family is so close. Memaw and Papa would be so proud to see how we have all pulled together to support Nana...it has been amazing. Hotel accommodations were donated for family, meals were sent, friends drove hours to give their love and support, Melissa and Cindy had bags filled with anything we could possibly need on the day of the memorial...definitely a humbling and overwhelming experience.
We celebrated Dad's life on Monday, December 28, at First Baptist Church in Arkadelphia. Sometime over the past year, Dad had seen Brother Lynn Worthen and had told him he wanted him to preach at his funeral when the time came. Brother Lynn kept his promise and led a beautiful service honoring dad, with Dr. Lee McClone officiating. Hal Bass also spoke and did a wonderful job telling about dad's years of service at Ouachita and what an impact he had on the students, faculty and community. Somehow, Kara and I found the strength to speak on behalf of our family. As hard as it was, we wanted to honor dad and knew he would love having his girls up there talking about him. After all, he spent all those years telling stories about us at OBU...now we could tell a few about him!
Here are the notes we spoke from...
"Our family wants to thank everyone for your support, prayers, and stories. The stories have been a bright spot and comfort during these difficult days. During this really hard time we find comfort in knowing that our dad went to sleep excited about Christmas and time with his grandkids and family. We want you to know he passed peacefully and woke up in the arms of Jesus and for that we are thankful.
Everyone that knows our dad knows he never meets
a stranger and always greets you with a smile and a hug. A lot of people know him as “Dr.” Mills. While we were in school he was a second dad
to many of our friends. He was a
counselor to so many through the years.
We’ve heard numerous stories of how he counseled students. Others have mentioned that they chose their
career paths because of Dr. Mills.
Before we went to OBU we always heard that everyone wanted to take his
class because for an hour all he did was talk about his kids and tell
stories. After he had grandkids they became
the subject of his lectures.
Dad was also know as the guy around town that could do anything. He installed and fixed sprinkler systems, built houses and ran a Laundromat and carwash. And if dad couldn't fix it you could rest assured that Smitty, a good friend of his, could. Dad was a friend and a confidant to so many and we know his willingness to help will be missed by many. And if you couldn't find dad, you could always find him at Walmart. (Kara story)
Then there was our dad who was at the coffee shop every morning before the crack of dawn. Dad loved this group of guys and from what we can tell this group loved to gossip more than any group of ladies in town. We always joked if you wanted to know the town gossip, don't ask mom, ask dad. We've heard this was his favorite place to go dressed in all his biking gear before taking off on a along motorcycle trip. We just thought he liked to make the other guys jealous.
That brings us to dad after retirement from OBU. In recent years he discovered his love for motorcycles and riding. Although it scared us beyond words we are so thankful for the joy and friendships it brought him. Two people that I know will miss him on these long trips are Gaylan and Phillip. You guys gave him so many good memories. We know you will miss your partner in crime.
And that brings us to dad the family man. We know how much dad loved us, and we know he knows how much we loved him. He never ended a phone conversation, text or a visit without saying "I Love You." Some of our favorite memories include family trips to Florida and Colorado, and shopping trips to Dallas.
Our parents have always been our biggest supporters. They sat through countless gymnastics meets, ballgames and recitals. Growing up, our house was the place for many sleepovers. Several friends have recalled waking up and dad having donuts, dad lounging in his recliner and dad always having a smile on his face.
(Kara) I can remember my dad waking me up early every morning before school to study my spelling words and that being our special alone time. I remember his lazy boy chair and his lap could always make anything better.
(Jenny) One of my earliest memories was my daddy holding out his finger so I could hold on to it wherever we were going. He always made me feel safe and as I grew older that finger hold turned into the hand that gave my sister and me away in marriage.
Our dad loved his sons-in-law, Richard and Tim. He saw something in them even before we did. Dad loved the time he spent with these guys. I know we will all cherish the one-on-one times we had with dad and all the vacations and family gatherings.
Five of his greatest joys called him Papa Doc. We know that Nate, Zac, Ben, Matthew and Molly will always remember his hugs, smiles, and tickles; endless supplies of quarters; and countless mule rides. They always looked forward to their time with Nana and Papa Doc.
Lastly is his love for our mom. There has never been any doubt how much he loved our mom and enjoyed taking care of and spending time with her. Their marriage which lasted 47 years has been an example for Jenny and me and what we want our marriages to be. I can't even imagine him not being the first person she sees in the morning and the last she sees at night.
Dad loved his family. Despite the "many hats" he wore his family was always his main concern, first priority, and biggest love. He loved family. His nieces, nephews, brothers-and sisters-in-law...it's so difficult to explain how much he loved these people. Dad loved his Savior, his family and his friends. Before we close, we wanted to read a poem we found the other day that dad had written when Nate was a baby.
Nate, one day papa will have to go away,
to be with Jesus and there I'll stay.
But don't you fret and don't you cry,
Just look in the mirror and there am I.
I think we all look forward to the day we get one of his big hugs in Heaven. We love you daddy!"
After the service, the church provided a wonderful lunch for us to gather and visit with family. In looking back at the guest book, there were around 300+ people in attendance, with several more sending their condolences as they were out of town for Christmas break. I was amazed that friends of his from high school showed up to hug us all and talk about what a great man "Otis" was. It was neat to see so many people showing up for him that were important through different phases of his life. The outpouring of love has been overwhelming and so heart-warming.
As difficult as that day was, we are so thankful for the assurance in knowing dad is in Heaven. I am forever grateful for the time I had with dad. He truly was the best daddy a girl could ask for!
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm34:18
Dad was also know as the guy around town that could do anything. He installed and fixed sprinkler systems, built houses and ran a Laundromat and carwash. And if dad couldn't fix it you could rest assured that Smitty, a good friend of his, could. Dad was a friend and a confidant to so many and we know his willingness to help will be missed by many. And if you couldn't find dad, you could always find him at Walmart. (Kara story)
Then there was our dad who was at the coffee shop every morning before the crack of dawn. Dad loved this group of guys and from what we can tell this group loved to gossip more than any group of ladies in town. We always joked if you wanted to know the town gossip, don't ask mom, ask dad. We've heard this was his favorite place to go dressed in all his biking gear before taking off on a along motorcycle trip. We just thought he liked to make the other guys jealous.
That brings us to dad after retirement from OBU. In recent years he discovered his love for motorcycles and riding. Although it scared us beyond words we are so thankful for the joy and friendships it brought him. Two people that I know will miss him on these long trips are Gaylan and Phillip. You guys gave him so many good memories. We know you will miss your partner in crime.
And that brings us to dad the family man. We know how much dad loved us, and we know he knows how much we loved him. He never ended a phone conversation, text or a visit without saying "I Love You." Some of our favorite memories include family trips to Florida and Colorado, and shopping trips to Dallas.
Our parents have always been our biggest supporters. They sat through countless gymnastics meets, ballgames and recitals. Growing up, our house was the place for many sleepovers. Several friends have recalled waking up and dad having donuts, dad lounging in his recliner and dad always having a smile on his face.
(Kara) I can remember my dad waking me up early every morning before school to study my spelling words and that being our special alone time. I remember his lazy boy chair and his lap could always make anything better.
(Jenny) One of my earliest memories was my daddy holding out his finger so I could hold on to it wherever we were going. He always made me feel safe and as I grew older that finger hold turned into the hand that gave my sister and me away in marriage.
Our dad loved his sons-in-law, Richard and Tim. He saw something in them even before we did. Dad loved the time he spent with these guys. I know we will all cherish the one-on-one times we had with dad and all the vacations and family gatherings.
Five of his greatest joys called him Papa Doc. We know that Nate, Zac, Ben, Matthew and Molly will always remember his hugs, smiles, and tickles; endless supplies of quarters; and countless mule rides. They always looked forward to their time with Nana and Papa Doc.
Lastly is his love for our mom. There has never been any doubt how much he loved our mom and enjoyed taking care of and spending time with her. Their marriage which lasted 47 years has been an example for Jenny and me and what we want our marriages to be. I can't even imagine him not being the first person she sees in the morning and the last she sees at night.
Dad loved his family. Despite the "many hats" he wore his family was always his main concern, first priority, and biggest love. He loved family. His nieces, nephews, brothers-and sisters-in-law...it's so difficult to explain how much he loved these people. Dad loved his Savior, his family and his friends. Before we close, we wanted to read a poem we found the other day that dad had written when Nate was a baby.
Nate, one day papa will have to go away,
to be with Jesus and there I'll stay.
But don't you fret and don't you cry,
Just look in the mirror and there am I.
I think we all look forward to the day we get one of his big hugs in Heaven. We love you daddy!"
After the service, the church provided a wonderful lunch for us to gather and visit with family. In looking back at the guest book, there were around 300+ people in attendance, with several more sending their condolences as they were out of town for Christmas break. I was amazed that friends of his from high school showed up to hug us all and talk about what a great man "Otis" was. It was neat to see so many people showing up for him that were important through different phases of his life. The outpouring of love has been overwhelming and so heart-warming.
As difficult as that day was, we are so thankful for the assurance in knowing dad is in Heaven. I am forever grateful for the time I had with dad. He truly was the best daddy a girl could ask for!
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm34:18
Here are some of the beautiful flower arrangements that were sent.
We love you dad!
Beloved dad, husband, teacher, friend and Papa Doc
May 12, 1946-December 24, 2015
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